GRRRRR..........

Today I am upset. Very upset. Angry even. I have just been to the toilets at work and being a small office and having a small toilet, there are 2 cubicles for the men and no urinal. So, we don't have much of a choice about which toilet to use unless I walk down to the warehouse or over to the factory. So what's the problem I hear you say? The problem is twofold.

1. Pubic hair left on the seat
2. Piss dribbled all over the floor

Let's start with the short, black and curly's. I don't want to see anyone's pubes sitting right in the middle of the seat when I walk in to a cubicle. You might think it clever to sit there twiddling with 'em, wrapping your little finger in them and then discovering one has pulled free and how amusing it would be to leave it on the seat for the next person to find. You might think that the one who discovers your little friend is going to sit and stare in awe at it, to love it and caress it and hold it forever. WRONG!! You are a dirty little bastard and you need to have your pubes forcibly ripped from your groin and shoved down your throat. Whoever you are, you disgust me.
Next we have the dribbles of piss. Once again, why? I love sliding around on the floor in your pee pee, and getting it on the soles of my shoes is just the highlight of my day. A simple tip for you, you bloody retard is look down at your pathetic excuse for a willy and if you see the floor under it, then take a step forward until there is porcelain underneath. And once you have finished you don't need to wrestle with it like you are fighting with a man eating python. A gentle shake and then you can tuck the old chap back in. It's not that hard (and I bet that's what your old lady says every night), so learn some basic toilet ettiquete.

Next time, we will discuss people who leave huge skids down the back of the pan and the mystery of the poo, the wee and the lack of toilet paper.