Thursday, March 31, 2005
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
My car has been sold.
It is a sad day. I have sold my beloved car. I like to think it is going to a better place, to pastures green but I know it will not be loved as much as I have loved it. We have had our differences. I wished it to be sleek and sexy, fuel efficient and fast, to have good aircon and a CD player, but my Betsy wanted to be big, brown and noisy. She never kept me cool in the summer, her aircon was about as much use as a dildo in a nunnery but still I drove her. She drank more petrol than any other car and pumped out the same levels of Co2 as a small Eastern European country but I drove her.
Now, she has gone. All I have to remember her by are a few photos, and her licence plates which I have to hand over to the authorities.
I will miss you Betsy, you were a good car even with all of your problems.
Gawd bless ya girlie, and please don't break down on your new owner.
Now, she has gone. All I have to remember her by are a few photos, and her licence plates which I have to hand over to the authorities.
I will miss you Betsy, you were a good car even with all of your problems.
Gawd bless ya girlie, and please don't break down on your new owner.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Friday, March 18, 2005
How I Snogged my English Teacher
Now, for all those lovely ladies who requested my story of how I snogged my English
teacher, here is the concluding part. Enjoy....
She reached out her hand and gently took hold of mine and brought it up to her breast. My hand touched her nipple and she let out a slight moan and I could feel the nipple slowly getting hard under my sweaty palm. It was beginning to rise like a loaf of bread in a bakers oven, slow and hot. I started to rub it gently caressing it and tweaking. Making motions as if I were tuning a wireless to Radio Tokyo. I reached out with my other hand and grabbed the other boobie and started kneading it like dough. I looked down at what I was doing and it was good. Teacher was arching her back, maoning gently as I worked on her. Kneading, rubbing, tweaking, flicking, pinching, pushing, pulling then finally, I bent down and engulfed a whole huge nipple in my mouth and began to suck like there was no tomorrow. She tasted so good and smelt fresh which was a relief because Tracy from the local girls school up the road smelt like week old kippers and tasted of vinegar, but then she would let anyone do anything to her for a cigarette and a pack on Monster Munch and you can't really complain with that kind of price tag.
After a few minutes of this she sat up and pushed me away and proceeded to remove her skirt to reveal a pair of white cotton panties. The damp patch was already visible and the camel toe unmistakable. This was one hell of a woman. She bent down to her knees and gently unzipped my slacks and reached in to grab my beast. You must understand that my beast was not your normal everyday variety. No. This was something special. It had a big blue vein running down the shaft and bulging purple head. She gasped as it sprung loose and pointed at her with it's one evil eye glinting in the afternoon sunlight. I gently urged it forward and she opened her mouth to accept it's massiveness. It felt good. Like an ice cream on a hot summers day. It was right. She started to suck and lick, and little groaning sounds escaped her lips once in a while. As she worked on it she reached up and grabbed hold of my balls and rubbed gently. She began bit by bit to take more and more of me into her mouth until she was all the way to the base of the shaft. Not only was this woman beautiful, sexy and intelligent she was also very, very talented. We carried on like this for what seemed like an eternity, then she suddenly stopped, stood up and removed her panties. There was nothing to compare. It was gorgeous. A perfect landing strip and not a single sign of 5 o'clock shadow. I was impressed and made a mental note to ask her how she did that once this was over.
She bent forward on the table and looked back at me and in a strong stern voice demanded that I penetrate her and finish my detention. Who was I to argue? She was a teacher and I had to obey. I stepped forward and slid the beast into her hot wet tight pulsating love mound and began to thrust. In and out it went. faster and faster. Hot buttocks slapping on me, her udders swinging freely. Faster, faster, harder, harder. Building up to an un-avoidable crescendo. Then finally with one last super human effort I pulled out and shot my filthy love juice all over her back. It kept on flowing, like Krakatoa. My hot man lava pumping out in a seemingly never ending torrent. Then it was over. I stood back to admire my handy work. The beast now slowly falling asleep, earning his well deserved rest. Teacher stood up and turned to me in all her naked glory. She looked at me and for a moment there was silence. She reached around and touched her back then looked at her hand. It glistened wet in the light. Then she slowly licked her fingers. Finally, she gazed at me and told me to leave. I tucked the old chap back into his hammock, grabbed my
bag and left.
The next day I went to school with excitement. English was my first lesson. I sat at my desk knowing waht had taken place there a day before. We waited for teacher then the door opened and the headmaster walked in. He stood at the head of the class and informed us that teacher had suddenly left the school and would not be back. They were all surprised by this turn of events and he wold be taking our classes for the rest of the year. I made a mental note not to misbehave myself in his class. I didn't think I would like detention with him quite as much.
teacher, here is the concluding part. Enjoy....
She reached out her hand and gently took hold of mine and brought it up to her breast. My hand touched her nipple and she let out a slight moan and I could feel the nipple slowly getting hard under my sweaty palm. It was beginning to rise like a loaf of bread in a bakers oven, slow and hot. I started to rub it gently caressing it and tweaking. Making motions as if I were tuning a wireless to Radio Tokyo. I reached out with my other hand and grabbed the other boobie and started kneading it like dough. I looked down at what I was doing and it was good. Teacher was arching her back, maoning gently as I worked on her. Kneading, rubbing, tweaking, flicking, pinching, pushing, pulling then finally, I bent down and engulfed a whole huge nipple in my mouth and began to suck like there was no tomorrow. She tasted so good and smelt fresh which was a relief because Tracy from the local girls school up the road smelt like week old kippers and tasted of vinegar, but then she would let anyone do anything to her for a cigarette and a pack on Monster Munch and you can't really complain with that kind of price tag.
After a few minutes of this she sat up and pushed me away and proceeded to remove her skirt to reveal a pair of white cotton panties. The damp patch was already visible and the camel toe unmistakable. This was one hell of a woman. She bent down to her knees and gently unzipped my slacks and reached in to grab my beast. You must understand that my beast was not your normal everyday variety. No. This was something special. It had a big blue vein running down the shaft and bulging purple head. She gasped as it sprung loose and pointed at her with it's one evil eye glinting in the afternoon sunlight. I gently urged it forward and she opened her mouth to accept it's massiveness. It felt good. Like an ice cream on a hot summers day. It was right. She started to suck and lick, and little groaning sounds escaped her lips once in a while. As she worked on it she reached up and grabbed hold of my balls and rubbed gently. She began bit by bit to take more and more of me into her mouth until she was all the way to the base of the shaft. Not only was this woman beautiful, sexy and intelligent she was also very, very talented. We carried on like this for what seemed like an eternity, then she suddenly stopped, stood up and removed her panties. There was nothing to compare. It was gorgeous. A perfect landing strip and not a single sign of 5 o'clock shadow. I was impressed and made a mental note to ask her how she did that once this was over.
She bent forward on the table and looked back at me and in a strong stern voice demanded that I penetrate her and finish my detention. Who was I to argue? She was a teacher and I had to obey. I stepped forward and slid the beast into her hot wet tight pulsating love mound and began to thrust. In and out it went. faster and faster. Hot buttocks slapping on me, her udders swinging freely. Faster, faster, harder, harder. Building up to an un-avoidable crescendo. Then finally with one last super human effort I pulled out and shot my filthy love juice all over her back. It kept on flowing, like Krakatoa. My hot man lava pumping out in a seemingly never ending torrent. Then it was over. I stood back to admire my handy work. The beast now slowly falling asleep, earning his well deserved rest. Teacher stood up and turned to me in all her naked glory. She looked at me and for a moment there was silence. She reached around and touched her back then looked at her hand. It glistened wet in the light. Then she slowly licked her fingers. Finally, she gazed at me and told me to leave. I tucked the old chap back into his hammock, grabbed my
bag and left.
The next day I went to school with excitement. English was my first lesson. I sat at my desk knowing waht had taken place there a day before. We waited for teacher then the door opened and the headmaster walked in. He stood at the head of the class and informed us that teacher had suddenly left the school and would not be back. They were all surprised by this turn of events and he wold be taking our classes for the rest of the year. I made a mental note not to misbehave myself in his class. I didn't think I would like detention with him quite as much.
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Reqested post....
This post is dedicated to ms.Mac....
First I would like to start by saying that I went to the Foster's Australian GP and it was wonderful. The best way to see the GP is getting free grand stand tickets courtesy of those lovely people at Foster's. Suffice to say it was loud, I got sunburnt and I loved every minute of it.
As some of you may be aware I am getting married to Drainbrain soon, and that is something that I am looking forward to with a large amount of excitement, a pinch of fear and general dose of disbelief.
Lastly, I would like to confess about how I snogged my English teacher when I was a lad at school in England. Let me set the scene. It was a hot summers day, Friday afternoon if memory serves me right. We were all eagerly awaiting the end of class and to dash of home to cool down. Kids were fidgeting and causing trouble, getting restless in the sweaty heat. Then someone threw a pen at me and as it clattered on the desk the teacher look up and with a sultry gaze upon me she seductively asked me to stay behind after class. Needless to say I was most upset at this turn of events, though part of me got excited at the prospect of spending some time alone with this horny she bitch with looks that would melt a polar ice cap. She had legs that went all the way up to her thighs!! A bust like no man had ever seen before. Firm, bouncy and extremely large. Whatever man played with those puppies was the luckiest guy on earth. And lips that said she could suck start a Harley. Maybe detention wasn't such a bad thing after all.
Time seemed to drag and eventually the bell rang and the class emptied faster than a drunks bladder after 10 pints of beer. I looked up at teacher with fear and excitement. She closed the door and pulled the blinds down, and I started to get excited. My manhood bulging in my polyester slacks. She walked over to me with a sway in her hips that would put any hypnotist to shame. She sat down on the corner of the table and looked down at me and in the softest whisper told me how bad I had been and that I needed to be punished. All I could do was gulp and stare at her wobbly schnorks. She stood up and and with an evil glint in her eye, un-buttoned her blouse, then removed her bra. It was like a holy beacon lighting up the sky. Those massive mammaries wobbling gently from her body movement. Now I finally believed in divine intervention, for only God himself could create such perfection and allow a 16 year old school boy to have a fiddle...
That's all for now. Depending on how many comments I get I might be persuaded to complete the story.
First I would like to start by saying that I went to the Foster's Australian GP and it was wonderful. The best way to see the GP is getting free grand stand tickets courtesy of those lovely people at Foster's. Suffice to say it was loud, I got sunburnt and I loved every minute of it.
As some of you may be aware I am getting married to Drainbrain soon, and that is something that I am looking forward to with a large amount of excitement, a pinch of fear and general dose of disbelief.
Lastly, I would like to confess about how I snogged my English teacher when I was a lad at school in England. Let me set the scene. It was a hot summers day, Friday afternoon if memory serves me right. We were all eagerly awaiting the end of class and to dash of home to cool down. Kids were fidgeting and causing trouble, getting restless in the sweaty heat. Then someone threw a pen at me and as it clattered on the desk the teacher look up and with a sultry gaze upon me she seductively asked me to stay behind after class. Needless to say I was most upset at this turn of events, though part of me got excited at the prospect of spending some time alone with this horny she bitch with looks that would melt a polar ice cap. She had legs that went all the way up to her thighs!! A bust like no man had ever seen before. Firm, bouncy and extremely large. Whatever man played with those puppies was the luckiest guy on earth. And lips that said she could suck start a Harley. Maybe detention wasn't such a bad thing after all.
Time seemed to drag and eventually the bell rang and the class emptied faster than a drunks bladder after 10 pints of beer. I looked up at teacher with fear and excitement. She closed the door and pulled the blinds down, and I started to get excited. My manhood bulging in my polyester slacks. She walked over to me with a sway in her hips that would put any hypnotist to shame. She sat down on the corner of the table and looked down at me and in the softest whisper told me how bad I had been and that I needed to be punished. All I could do was gulp and stare at her wobbly schnorks. She stood up and and with an evil glint in her eye, un-buttoned her blouse, then removed her bra. It was like a holy beacon lighting up the sky. Those massive mammaries wobbling gently from her body movement. Now I finally believed in divine intervention, for only God himself could create such perfection and allow a 16 year old school boy to have a fiddle...
That's all for now. Depending on how many comments I get I might be persuaded to complete the story.
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Most Blogs are Shite
Hello all,
for those of you that care (and I know there are not many) I have not blogged for a while with anything useful because I have had a kind of melancholy come over me with this whole blogging thing. Trying to constantly think up witty and funny things to say is quite hard and I cannot be bothered to type things like what I ate for breakfast. Also, looking around at other blogs I have come to the conclusion that about 99% of the blogs out there are either political rants, adverts or just so boring that I wonder why these people bother updating their blogs at all. In fact, I think I feel a rant coming on.
First, let's deal with these political blogs. Why? No one reads your crappy little take on why Dubya Bush is so brilliant, no one in the real world cares. How many Australian or English political blogs are out there? Not many that I have come across. Why? Because we have better things to do than waste our time muttering on about a load of tossy old men in suits that have no sense of reality. And to show how much we don't care about your political rantings, just take a look at your blog and notice how many comments people make. NONE. ZERO. ZIP. NIL. I hate you all. You have taken 30 seconds of my life away from me with your boring sense of self importance and your inability to accept any criticism of your political overlord.
Next we have advertising blogs. You are all shit heads and you do nothing but waste valuable bandwidth. Have a read of what a blog is supposed to be and for God's sake remove all the crappy java and flash plugins from your sites. It's bad enough coming across one of your sites without having to wait 30 seconds for it to bloody well load because you stuff it full of crappy plugins. Yo can all die as far as I am concerned.
Lastly we have boring blogs. I don't care how mundane life is. Buy a paper journal and write in there. You should never be allowed to use a computer ever again unless you are going to drop it in the bath while you are still in it and electrocute yourself.
However, if you are lucky enough to have a link to your blog on my site then you are OK and I am not talking about you. And even if you are not linked then I still may not be talking about you. Those who I am talking about know who they are and had better stop.
for those of you that care (and I know there are not many) I have not blogged for a while with anything useful because I have had a kind of melancholy come over me with this whole blogging thing. Trying to constantly think up witty and funny things to say is quite hard and I cannot be bothered to type things like what I ate for breakfast. Also, looking around at other blogs I have come to the conclusion that about 99% of the blogs out there are either political rants, adverts or just so boring that I wonder why these people bother updating their blogs at all. In fact, I think I feel a rant coming on.
First, let's deal with these political blogs. Why? No one reads your crappy little take on why Dubya Bush is so brilliant, no one in the real world cares. How many Australian or English political blogs are out there? Not many that I have come across. Why? Because we have better things to do than waste our time muttering on about a load of tossy old men in suits that have no sense of reality. And to show how much we don't care about your political rantings, just take a look at your blog and notice how many comments people make. NONE. ZERO. ZIP. NIL. I hate you all. You have taken 30 seconds of my life away from me with your boring sense of self importance and your inability to accept any criticism of your political overlord.
Next we have advertising blogs. You are all shit heads and you do nothing but waste valuable bandwidth. Have a read of what a blog is supposed to be and for God's sake remove all the crappy java and flash plugins from your sites. It's bad enough coming across one of your sites without having to wait 30 seconds for it to bloody well load because you stuff it full of crappy plugins. Yo can all die as far as I am concerned.
Lastly we have boring blogs. I don't care how mundane life is. Buy a paper journal and write in there. You should never be allowed to use a computer ever again unless you are going to drop it in the bath while you are still in it and electrocute yourself.
However, if you are lucky enough to have a link to your blog on my site then you are OK and I am not talking about you. And even if you are not linked then I still may not be talking about you. Those who I am talking about know who they are and had better stop.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
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