@rse......

It's hot.
The air conditioning is broken
Tomorrow is going to be even hotter.
I am not happy.

I did a poo.....

Today I did a poo, but it was a special poo. It reminded me of a dirty big slug that had attached itself to the milky white bosom of a beautiful young girl just entering her adulthood.

Feel free to complain if you like but that won't change the fact that that's what it looked like.

Look at the pretty cats. Go on, all together now....ahhhhhh. 

I AM THE TOILET GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today I have claimed victory. Today cubicle number 2 is MINE!!! After setting up an elaborate non-destructive trap I have determined that I am the only person that enters cubicle number 2 so it is now mine. In retalliation to all the cubicle number 1 users I carefully removed a roll of toilet paper from it's protective outer wrapping and then put the wrapping back into shape and placed it cunningly onto of the number 1 cistern. So you may ask? So, it is because the loaded paper in number 1 was about to run out so when the poor sod would sit down, pull the last 3 sheets off the roll and then reach around for what they thought was a full roll, they will instead be greeted by the sound of crumpling paper and a moment of panic as they realise they have been bested by the toilet master. I can see the face now, the sudden realization that they have to get out of the cubicle to the cupboard get some more paper with their trousers around the ankles without being caught, or wiping with their fingers and hoping to God they can scrape their dirty puss ridden faeces out from under their finger nails.

I am evil. Fear me.